Disappearing. ~ Azsula, Syringa Vulgaris, Apis. 21 4 2022.

A bittersweet story about psychosis and more.

I am from the kingdom of sobering light, and you are a passenger aboard a train, headed towards my home kingdom!

The flowers grow moist and beautiful around here. Tall and decadent. Fit for smelling on any day.

You arrive at West Tolford, seeking out one of the kingdom's finest, known pleasures.

The chamber of light is within a tall bell tower standing over 100 meters high! Near the top of the tower, is the such chamber.

You've come here for the mystical powers this chamber holds. Hopping out of the train car, you begin to try and find your way to the destination on foot.

That is when you became confused, and ran into me, asking for dear help. It was a tall tower, sure, but not many travelers knew exactly what they were supposed to be looking out for.

I introduce myself as Starling Epsilon of The Light. Starling or Epsi for short. I know the way to the tower very well, and I agree to guide you there.

Filled with glee and excitement, you follow, simply waiting for what ever could be next.

We soon arrive at the tower, standing so tall it frightens you. With an almost eerie, yet sweet look, I say, "Come."

I lead you to the main stairwell, and begin ascending it with you. I scale these stairs just as I always have. Simply and lightly. You, however, find yourself struggling rather quickly. It feels as if you're lightheaded. Looking down, you see that we are already about 3 whole spirals of stairs up. You're dizzy at the sight.

I heed you to continue, waiting more and more for you to continue climbing each additional step. You're seeming pale. Weak. Confused.

Soon enough, you've forgotten where you are. How much time has gone by since you.... you...... has it been a dream? What is happening?

Comfortingly, you stare suddenly, down at your feet. That's right.. you were walking up.

....But why? What led you to walk up these.. stairs. That's the word, 'stairs'.... What was the question again?..

Quickly distraught, you stare over to me. Noticing I'm there. Has time stopped? Who is this person just staring at you?..

....Who are you?.. Surely you must be someone.. right?...

Fever overtakes you, dropping you to the things you were once standing on. You break down sobbing, without a clue of what is happening. Standing was too hard... Who could stand this?! Stand what?? What..? What?!

Seeing you overcome with a fit and rage of panic overtaking your entire soul, I smile.

I grab onto you, and begin dragging you up the stairs. Was it just a bit farther?

Soon, so little makes sense to you. There are just these faint feelings or tiny memories that feel so real. They were real.....right?

You can't remember. Did it matter anyways? Lost, you become blank in the face. Lost totally.

Everything begins to just fade out. Everything is totally gone. Nothing is left. Not at all.


Soon, you are awoken. You can't see. Or you can only see. Everything is just a blinding light. Quickly, you try covering your eyes. It simply doesn't work..

Soon, after much trying to help yourself, you realize quickly that you have become blinded. By what?..

It seems your apprehension disappeared. You just see this new reality. It looks like everything, ever. Light. Lots of light. Surely you can't be seeing nothing. You realize that you are seeing everything.

It seems haunting at first, yet comforting. "There's nothing left," you say. Then you think. 'Nothing?' No.. well, yes. You've seen everything. Now there is nothing left. All you recall now is that somebody led you here. You thank the soul, brightly.

With nothing better left to do, you drift back off into eternal bliss. There can never be anything better when we have everything.