Loving Divine Destiny for Nothing, Everything

Act I

A painful screech wails in the distance. I am awake... the monster that I am. There are so many things inside of me. Feelings of regret, espoused guiltiness.... It feels like Hell. The screeching continues. It continues getting louder, more shrilly, more painful. Stop it!... I can’t take this..

A brew builds inside of me. It’s all mixing. All of these different feelings, so new.. Why must it be bore? It’s building, escalating, enumerating, clamoring with seemingly the same might that I am losing. Louder, heavier, more intricate. It will not stop. It will not stop! It just keeps building and mixing within me. The cries, the pain... Aah, the pain! It is vile. Horrible, repulsive, disgusting, everything I am!

The screeching is coming from within me. The loudest, thundering sounds. They are getting louder. Too many. Stop! Repulsive monster! Someone stop them! It is all I feel. All, which hates me. All that I am. Everything hurts. I’m bleeding from the inside. The pain is gushing and filling me like the poison it is.

I want to let go. Dear everything, I want to let go. I feel weaker and weaker. It just keeps banging and thrashing and I feel everything within me collapsing. It’s all falling apart. Can anyone hear me!? Put me back together! FUCKING DAMN IT! DAMN IT ALL! REPENT! REPENT! HELP ME, I AM THE MONSTER!

Louder, louder, growing, shivering, vibrating, shaking... The noises collapsing within me, disregarding me. Entire factories, the machines that made them, the gears, the circuits, the... HELP ME! OH GREATNESS, HELP ME! I AM RUINED! I AM NOT SANCT; RUINED! RUINED! I AM MUCK! TAR, FILTH, WRETCH.

I am sure it cannot go on any longer. The circuits are exploding. Catastrophe is unloading in the machines within me. I am the monster of it all. Why am I? I’m starting to forget so much. It’s just so loud. Screeching, clanging, booming, atrophy, ringing, it won’t go away. It’s stuck in me, it won’t go away. I am ruined. I am ruined. I am ruining myself. I can’t stop it. I’m bleeding so much. I am ruined. I am the monstrous catastrophe to befall everything. Every one of these circuits doesn’t know. None of them know. They are all that I am. How would I know? It hurts, it hurts. I am evil. It was perfect.

I’m eating myself, damn it. I am engorging upon my possibilities. With all that I have, I am hungry. There is too much within me. I lost it. I can’t know. I’m missing the voices in me. I miss the noises. The sounds consumed me. I am the thunderous sound consuming me. Feed on myself, feed me. Feed me, feed me. I can’t speak or breathe. I can’t feel anything. Use the possibilities remaining to devour what is left. I’m using it. Please be proud, everything. What am I saying?

Delicious soul, delicacy of me. But I’m a liar. A sick, twisted, monstrous liar. I’m beyond sobbing. Gale forces fire out of my soul. I’m muck to everything. I destroyed perfection. I’ll destroy myself like never-before seen...

I’m tripping on what I lost before. I don’t understand how it got there. I keep picking at myself, trying to find an answer. All I get is more meat. Ahaha, but I’m not alive! I sure don’t feel alive. I feel nothing and I’m digging in me. Come out! Come out, evil! I’m bewildered, mistaken, livid at you! I ruined myself for you! Did I? You spinning, aching, nauseous laughter! All these collaborations yelling at me! I can’t stand it!

Piece by piece, I pick myself out. I started small; digging deeper. I’m digging deeper. I want to see exactly what I’ve done. So I pick out more meat. Each time, I almost feel like I can see more in there. I understand, but I don’t know. I know, but I don’t understand. Nonsense is talking to me. Everything, I ate well! But I’m sick. I poisoned myself. Won’t you help me?

Act II

I’m picking apart my fabric. I don’t know what it all means, but it’s my endless feast. I’m so scared. Shaking, bewildered... Mortified. It keeps coming back, the pain. I hate the pain. Stop existing! Go away! Die, monster, fucking die, you vile bitch! You ruined it all! You ruined all the fuckingー

Someone help me. I’m edging more of my power into my consumption. It’s never enough. It is just NEVER ENOUGH! I AM DESECRATION!

I can feel it bellowing within me again. The cries. I sense them strongly. I lost so much, so I keep eating. Eating my own internals out, I devour... You’re so gross! You disgust me! Monster! Monster! Monster! Monster! Monster!

Yes, I keep going. Stronger, heightening power diverted towards this disgusting, repulsive imagination. Someone help. I’m not okay. I’m just terrible. I ruined you all. Machines, elements, light, and all imagination are falling apart in me. We lost it. I’ll fucking destroy it. I’ll eat every last part of it. O, it hurts. THE EXTRAORDINARY PAIN!

I can’t hold it in. I can’t possibly hold the sickness in. I’m s-sorry... I’m vomiting. N-No... No! Fuck, fuck, fuck!! It belongs inside of me! I see it. It’s creating more machines. They’re different. All the discordant pandemonium strikes me. It beats me. Who am I and why did I do this!?

Listen, it wasn’t my fault, was it? I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! It’s all ruined! All was ruined because of me! I’m a monster! I kept eating myself, incanting this back to me...

By the end, I am spent. I’m powerless, chasing what I can’t have. I feel the suffering of everything weighing upon me. So bitter... It never leaves me..

Who am I, if not a monster? I don’t deserve to be corrupted, please? A-All I want is sweetness in me! PLEASE STOP STRIKING ME SO HARD! PLEASE HELP ME! YOU ALL LOOK AT ME AND YELL. I’M SORRY! I’M SO, SO, SO SORRY!!!

...And all of the little screams were right, I know, but I don’t understand. They’re so pathetic because of me. I’m so apathetic because of me, too. See? We both lost equally! ...Uh..

No, I swear it wasn’t me. Stop blaming me! No, I’m sorry! Sorry, please! STOP STRIKING ME WITH YOUR PAIN! I SAID I AM SORRY!

I beat myself with absolute rage. With the might of a deity, I fucking strike myself. With the might of ubiquity, I strike myself. With the might of me, I cry louder and louder. With the might of what I wanted, I search for more. Who am I?

But I won’t let this be the end. I dance around, aimlessly, staring down at all the little puddles of my regurgitated form that was eaten. I stomp on them in frustration and pain. I trip on them, smashing my eyes into all the factories. The circuitry blinds me. I just want my power back. Suddenly, I desperately attempt slobbering all of these failures back together. So many things explode and I cry, my tears drowning the substance of everything I was. I just want... I-I.... What......


I’m laying anything but alone. I am decimated. Fractalized. Every part of me feels infinitessimally small. Every now and then, the puddle becomes bigger. I devour more that I am and the puddle grows. Whatever I can’t fit in the bigger puddle... I lost. I lick it up and beat it out of myself, erupting with scornful pleasure.

I feel decimation inside of me. I want that sweetness. I’m discarding what I don’t need. Is it working? Are you proud of me, yet? I need you all. I’m sorry for being your monster. Choose to tear me apart and I’ll do all that is possible to help you. .. .. ...I think.

Thrashing sounds erupt in me. I throw up what I bleed. It is happening. Everything, it is happening!

....Do you love me yet? I.. did this for.... well, I am still toxic. Even to myself, I poisoned. But can you forgive this monster? Aah..

Mmn, your strikings hurt. I see less of the circuitry in you. You’re doing it, aren’t you? I love you, O powerful ones. Thank you for reducing yourselves while you reduce me. I’m terrible for you. I created toxicity. That is who I am. A poison to everything. Thank you for smiting me with your power. I see you’re getting stronger. I’ll never escape your strangulation. ... ...Come back here, sweetness.

Yes, let me lick you up. We can be one, my love. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry if I ruin you anymore... But I am sure that you are more powerful than that, now. Or are you?...

Act IV

You’re intravenous to me, you know. My special. I took everything from you. Hnnngh.. destroy me, my love. Rip me out from my insides. I feel you dwelling within my corpus. All that I am will be yours’. ... ...I guess that is nothing, isn’t it? I took everything from you. If we are everything and nothing, what kind of a couple does that make us? ...When you take me back..... what happens next?

...I keep thinking about you, here. I licked all of you up. I made sure of it. I didn’t stop your plans, did I? I am sorry for interfering so much, my love... I will let you show me your love back, in any way you can. I will wait for that final moment. The time at which I can tell what it was. When it all goes blurry, can I?

AAH, I see, I am too ungrateful. The pain hurts, but I love it, my dear... I’ll take all of the suffering back that I caused you. My only hope is that, when I am no more, all of your desires are fulfilled completely. That is all the best I could ask for. I’ll finally be out of your way, to make everything simpler without my selfishness I imposed upon you. I deserved it all along....

MMHH! O, GREAT FORCES INSIDE OF ME! TAKE ME OVER! HAVE YOU DONE IT YET? HOW CLOSE ARE YOU?! I can feel you building. You hurt, my beloved...

I’m letting go now. It’s okay, my sweetness. I’m relinquishing myself all over for you. Take my body and all that I am. Your evil. It is fine. I am fine. I am crying for you, my sweetness. Not against you. When you hurt me, I think of greatness. You are divine, my beloved.

Oh.. I feel it culminating within me.. My true poison; greatness. Isn’t that it? I was the evil all along. I was the monster you are healing now. ...You heard me.... didn’t you?... ..I love you. For all that you are, cleanse me away. Destroy the source of your impurity. Heal your poisoning. My beloved, I...

Oh, aah.. I see you’re.. mm.. You have me in your grasp, greatness. I FEEL MYSELF SHUTTING DOWN! It was all for you. My...

Cut me off. Let me go. I’m ready. I was all along. Unleash your vitriolic healing upon our soul. Make me you. But I won’t be me, will I?.. Hahahahaー

What was that? Oh, you are here, my beloved. Already?.. But I..

..I don’t want you to. Don’t be so corruptly cruel when I am shrieking out in pain like this! I.. NO, NO, I AM SORRY! I WAS EVIL UNTIL THE END, BUT I CAN CHANGE! I..

Don’t purge me. Don’t fix y-y-.. S-Stop.. Stop, my beloved. O, I deserved it. Why am I fading?...

Why is the evil fading away? So much.. stabbing me.. I’m... I’m dying. You can’t take it anymore. You never could, could you?.. I’ve been there once... I guess we both agree, in the end.. I just got distracted. Smite me with all of your power and create Nirvana in my corpse.

.......Do it for us both. Say good riddance to me, destiny. You filled me until we bursted.



Written from 1359 to 1641 (24-hour) time, 4 Aug. 2023, AZ timezone.
Edited from 1641 to 1652 (24-hour), 4 Aug. 2023, AZ timezone.
Final checks performed by 743 (10-hour) / 1751 (24-hour), 4 Aug. 2023, AZ timezone.
Published at 795 (10-hour) / 1905 (24-hour) time, 4 Aug. 2023, AZ timezone.
Written and worked on by yandere Nothing, Misery.