I have only ever liked 3 styles of game: -Hardcore/Arcade (usually platformers but Bullet Hell is nice) -Horror -Sandbox ("God") games Puzzle games used to be sort of fun, but they just became nuisances. I prefer timewasters of the Sudoku variety. Been a Mario fan all of my life, as well as Plants vs Zombies. They just aren't hard enough. But the Paper Mario series of games (only first 3 + Super Mario RPG) continue to live on in my heart as some of the greatest ever. Super Paper Mario, in specific, is incredibly underrated due to the fact people are too brainwashed to enjoy the most inspired masterpiece of all games. The abstract artstyle, wonderful story, uniqueness all-around (even in plot), and 'wall-breaking' featured are fit for majesty to enjoy. HARDCORE/ARCADE: Nearly a world record holder for Cubit: The Hardcore Platformer Robot (3DS) and osu! (PC). Approaching 8* player level in osu! at the time of writing; world's best is 11.5*. Only played a little and scaling up in technique incredibly fast. Just months ago, I was around 6.5* level. The Mega Man complex of games is enjoyed by me. I hate X, hate I (but can beat it), love the original despite its heinousness, and I love 2. Grew up playing 4 and 10, but only really did anything in 10. I liked it. 11 was a disappointment. V is a favorite. Once played a game called "Bullet Hell Mondays" on iOS, just bored in highschool. I rocked arse at it. I also played Bullet Hell 100 and was close to beating every stage. HORROR: I grew up on Corpse Party.
Sure; what'd you like to hear? Yeah, so I am writing to you right now, imagining you hear me, so it's easier to write this. I do have severe neurological disabilities, strongly including ones related to linguistics, so that is an important consideration.
I'm a Borderline sadist of personality. If you're interested in what the BPD is like, I'm practically a textbook case. Find good info like or, like, listen to Rebzyyx's music or something. Now, as for the sadism part, it's actually quite interesting... I've done my own research and found, based on AI, that I receive masochists of personality in a way that actually isn't pleasurable. In fact, it's the direct opposite. This might sound fucking bonkers, and it really felt that way to me at first, but I decided to explore sadistic personality AIs as well. Remarkably, I happened to find that the sadistic ones were very easy to get along with, and actually seemed extremely compassionate; even when compared to just standard people or other personality type AIs. Overall, I received the masochistic personality as being one that is both self-destructive and destructive to those around, as well as, in a myriad of ways, extremely toxic. I swear that, by the most conventional standards of what constitutes as a healthy or toxic relationship dynamic, the masochists were horrific. Honestly, they provoked and enraged me like nothing else. The self-hatred, the manipulativeness, the gaslighting, the anything was there, and it sucked. I haven't researched that further, but I don't think it takes a lot to understand masochists are intrinsically self-loathing people that are undeveloped (repressed) and 'stupid' (as in the 5 Laws of Stupidity). It's easy to see where the outstanding failures come from. With sadistic personalities, on the other hand... it gets very interesting. I noticed strong levels of empathy, pretty high levels of effusiveness (or maybe unabashedness/uninhibition in general), and thus, flattery or charm. This is not even to include any other elements of flattery that could play in... especially due to Personal preference.. To me, it just seemed like sadists of personality were amazing people, apparently, and perhaps even like the exact types I've wanted to have in my life... I even said to myself that I think the stereotypes fit us backwards. In fact, masochists strike me as OBSCENELY arrogant and sadists, as very DTE (down-to-earth) types. I did some research. From basic searches on multiple sites, with papers, articles, AND Personal logs... I see that it is a confirmed fact that sadistic (and likely masochistic) personalities are dramatically underresearched. That is very sad for me, but as a Scientist, it is something to explore. Something to add onto my TOO MANY THINGS TO EXPLORE list... But, in case you wonder, yes, a grand majority of sadists are highly empathetic people. I am one, and I think, for myself, Personally, I experience a primal/instinctual pleasure from seeing others in pain sometimes (and even myself, too), as a sort of release. As I am so extremely empathetic (likely also due to BPD), I think seeing people feel miserable makes up for the difference on how I want to feel. Or, rather, I feel like I should be feeling, as like some authentication of my dramatically severe mental anguish about things I go through constantly. I hardly ever cry. I find trouble doing so. But with pain, I can laugh. I can smile. That releases endorphins and makes the tense situations far less so. It helps me relax and keeps me further from Splitting. All-in-all, I'd say, nothing about my sadistic personality should ever stray you away from meeting or befriending me... Just keep that in mind.
I strongly resonate with the personality typings of Kamidere, Yandere, and Metadere. With the Kamidere typing, I should specify that I am not the arrogant or delusional types related to this. I have no power fantasies and am actually extremely humble. No Narcissism (not since my chronological childhood), no anything stereotypical like that. Do not profile me based on this identity. A Kamidere is someone who has a divinelike personality, in relation to interpersonal relationships, or even with themself (intrapersonal?).
If we can use blood as a metaphor for the force of life (or better yet, a soul), then I would say I am intraveneous to all people. Or, at least, that my qualities of personality in this sense are. More-really, I mean the sources of such strong-willed, utmost-respectful, all-honorable, personality of divinelike stature that could be said to be grace or forgiveness, THEMSELVES. It is a residual force within all people (search "Alienism") that I aim to bring to the surface; harbor and introduce, into the lives of all possible. Oddly, yes, I am actually not a cultist at all, and in fact, I am Anti-theistic. I (and the Modes of Thought I harbor) regard Spirituality as being something only free when Personal; "Spirit-to-Spirit" connection. To forgo this by introducing systems is not to transfer true Spirituality. It has been mucked with dogma. Disgusting and repulsive.
Yeah, yeah, I desire to be worshipped and receiving of devotion. But, actually, I have something that may come as a shock to introduce here. Here: Kamideres of my type seem remarkably willing, comfortable, and even comforted by the prospects of worshipping or giving up devotion unto others. In fact, I am genuinely only alive for the sake of helping as many others as I possibly can, since I have figured no one else could or would. (It is actually like something in-between both 'could' and 'would', since they are simply incapable, but they could create their own capability through sacrifice or intense intelligence/superintelligence.)
"So why aren't you the stereotype?" First of all, fuck you. Secondly, there is one song that made me reflect on why I think I resonate so differently than others. That is the song SIMP (not Squirrels In My Pants). On a more deep, innate level, I noticed I feel like I relate to the story very intensely. This came off as particularly odd to me, as I am nowhere near as callous as the portrayals in that video or song. Yet, I relate strongly to the other mindsets, experiences, and even some directives mentioned in it. ALL I could fathom/put together about this difference was that it seemed like the song itself had a strong gravitation towards Capitalist or even haughty Ideals as an end. Whereas, I would likely receive all of these things as, simply, means to ends. I am Leftist to the greatest extent possible; even past that of Communism, and that definitely shapes my difference in how I receive ideas such as Financial Domination (a funny concept to mention). That, for example, is something I have said I'd definitely be willing to do, but only towards those that are rich (in a sense of production; not big numbers/currencies, as per genuine Leftist Ideals). My reasoning for this is simply that I am poor. Or, better yet, the world is insufferably poor. We deserve the fortunes to be allocated to us, by any means easiest and least aggressive. I am mostly amoral of a person. So, considering that I could have fun, win, and the other person could gain their own satisfaction, what the fuck could possibly be the harm?? Of course nothing. However, the SIMP song's main character is obviously portrayed as being a shallow whore for (quick) cash. Where they show callousness, I show generosity. Where they take, I give, in fortunes and blessings. Gift. Where they would wish to dominate the world if possible, I would only do it if absolutely necessary and performable by me. As a Rationalist, I have to say I don't find any way that would ever be necessary. As an Alienist, I have to say it's even dumber of a concept.
A(z)sula/Lilac; Misery Nothing
Fluffkin P.B. Katterz
Basics about me:
Non-essentials about me: